One of us is real, I just know it.
So tonight I thank my dear memory of E, or at least who I imagine E to be, once again.
E for the win!
We did have fun once, didn't we?
Whatever, maybe it wasn't fun for you. Anyway, you wouldn't believe what Frank the old umpire did tonight. It was obvious that he was pissy because it rained on and off all evening and our 8:30 games wasn't starting until after 9, but bad calls, horrible strike zone, and unfriendliness aside, he let the other team manipulate him into giving them a win.
They are a great hitting team and were hitting. The jumped out to a 16-3 lead and Frank thought the game was going to end and you could tell e was happy. The only ball he'd call a strike was a meatball for their team. But then, we started coming back and made it 16-14 with two on and Vic up. That was when Frank let a player from the other team who was sitting in the stands get under his skin. After a few minutes of arguing about why he was throwing tat player out (with us saying "the clock stopped, right?" but he ignored us and kept his back to the field and just stared at the player he was throwing out, the other team all gathered at the pitcher's mound with the other umpire. When Frank finally turned around, another minute went by as the other team went back to their positions. Their pitcher pitched and the umpire on the field said no pitch because he wasn't ready.
We were the home team and were rallying, but that killed our rally. Momentum gone. Vic popped out.
Frank walked over to the other team's dugout as we were taking the field and then he said time expired. We said the inning started, you can't do that. He said time expired during the last inning. We said you didn't tell us time expired and the clock should have stopped when you were letting the team that was ahead delay the game. He said that doesn't stop the clock, all these exchanges as he's walking off the field. We said he let the other team cheat and they used him to win which is the worst umpiring possible and he said the clock ran out before he threw out the other player. Astounded we asked why he didn't tell us but he was gone because he knew we caught him in a lie.
No one heard any alarm go off. The other team was as dumbfounded as we were. Frank just wanted to go home and didn't care how he got to do it. We were tied for first place with that team and now, they get the season championship.
Whatever.
I hardly said a word because I knew it was pointless. We watched the end of the girl's championship game and the team of girls I used to play with in coed when I was a better player beat a really good team for the championship. Being Monday night and 10:30, nobody went out to celebrate. I put air in my tire on the way home and way to share a meal or conversation or hug with someone who cares, but I ain't got nobody (old song, in fact, a few of them lol). THis is when it is most challenging not to eat. Especially since I only had a few protein drinks and two yogurts all day because I pigged out over the holiday and busted pen my chronic bleeders and need to not poop anything but liquid for a week or more to let them heal. But every part of me is hungry on every level (especially emotionally). Loneliness leads to fatness. Frustration too. Unfairness too. Life leads to fatness. No distractions anywhere to be found. Who cares?
I do, I do!
Oh sure, be the positive optimistic hopeful idealistic psycho dissociative identify disorder child, why dontcha.
MPD for the win!
grumble lol.
So ok, I care, but who else does?
E cares, she just doesn't know how to show it in the languages we understand.
Oh, so now it's we is it?
Yes, and we're just gonna take our fun and go home if you're gonna continue being a grump.
It's lonely being grumpy.
And the children inside all scamper away giggling and laughing and I could swear at least one passed gas, but maybe that was me since I am the one paying attention to the digestive disorder. Let them have their fun. They'd all end up n the hospital again without me. Somehow, the thankless job of being the invisible parental figure seems to be all I can do to satisfy my hunger to give and share and care and love in this world.
To love and be loved, that's all I've ever wanted since the first moment I asked myself why I want in life.
At least I get part of it right.
And I am loved from afar, silently, I know that's true. So it's not active love, it's still love.
The kids are having fun. I might make a midnight snack and sleep less than 4 hours again tonight. I'll catch up tomorrow. And maybe do more exercise and drop the weight I am putting back on. Not like I've got anybody to impress or look good for.
So when did she become Tigger and me Eeyore?
Who wants to know?
What's it to ya?
Is there anybody going to listen to my story...
(ah, the musical fade out begins)
Hope you are at least a little entertained, cuz if not, it's just me having all the fun.
Words are my only friends sometimes. And songs. Songs are such good things. They never change their tune. They fill up lonesome evenings. And empty afternoons. Songs make such easy friends, all you do is sing along.. And you can't stay a stranger to a song. Helen Reddy sang that. Yeah, the one who sang I am woman hear me roar in numbers too big to ignore. Sadly, many still ignore and they do it darn well too. The world is so full of wonder and cruelty, it is amazing anyone ever understand each other or finds another who gets through all the fear and defense and confusion to touch heart to heart.
That was an old TV show, Hart to Hart.
Squirrel too.
Narf :)
hl,
me
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