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Someday

I'm still a personal and/or more important email, right? (hopeful puppy smile... there's no emoji for it, but you know it well... it's the Casey smile :)

I know I reach out to you a lot more than you have time for
I hope you don't mind or feel in any way put off
I live a lonely life in this world because I always ask for more
and it is rare that I find a person as kind as you are

I want people to care about each other more than they do
I want us all to share this world in peace and comfort
Competition can be fun but not at the point of a gun
We can overcome our fears when we decide to love more

Open the doors
let the love in
don't be afraid
hate will not win
if we just remember we all feel better when we care
we can overcome the fear and learn to share

I know I want to trust in a world of suspicion
I hope you don't ind or feel n any way put off
My motive is simply to bring a little joy into to this world
I think you are a lot like me, in fact I am sure

We want…
Recent posts

I Will Not Go Quietly

Ok so I guess the next splurge is a tablet. The why is because I sit too much for my current medical conditions and the keyboard even on this bigger phone is too small for fast typing and the voice to text sucks and I don’t think a keyboard can be connected to this phone. My hunger to shake that is placated by writing needs a bigger keyboard and laying down doesn’t work with the computers cuz the screen is up too high to see from a prone position. Makes sense if you saw the big picture.

Not sure if the body is reacting to the environment or just getting older but chronic ailments that prevent writing is definitely not healthy for me in my head. Solutions seem to become more and more expensive so please learn from me and save. I want you to see an increase in you ur savings account every month. Even if it’s just a dollar more. You should have one if you don’t.

I never had to think much about money until the last few years. Prices have simply not kept up with salaries and I never to…

You RUR Walls

I have no walls.
That is why I feel so alone.
I feel the empty space
of nobody coming near
and experiencing life
from my core
to my extremities
alone.

It is a wonderful experience
to be so open
so free
so aware
so alive.

If I did not want to share
there would be no loneliness.

Pity, sometimes,
that I want to share so much :)

If only someone would understand...

. . .

I smile as wide as the universe
for everything, for everyone, for myself
and for you because you care.

thank you for caring
it means so much to me
you mean so much to me
cuz you care.

Should Have Known

Better? lol... ah, irony, coincidence, a universe connecting dots, a trick of the calendar, you might even say the hand of god...

You have yours, I have mine, first love, the dream that there would be no other than the perfect complete unconditional fall... on this level we understand each other. There are some songs that are core songs for me, this is the one that helps me hold on and let go and continue believing in love.

It is actually from a movie...


And when it gets real (they were married 30 years ago)...



and the last chord was left unfinished...
I don't know if it's maturity or simply acceptance of a reality in which time does pass by and there really is no going back to where we left off no matter how much we want to, or think we want to.

All that said and I ask myself what I would do if she wanted to come back into my life today and my answer remains, I do not know any more than I'd welcome her back and take it one moment at a time.

For you, not being alone…

The Writer On Beauty and Happiness

I once wanted to see myself as a writer, as a person gifted with a skill to put words together to say profound and wondrous things, to amaze readers with thoughts and emotions that would open their minds and free them from the shackles of fears that oppress us from without and from outside in this culture.

What I have found in sharing personal letters is that most people personalize the thoughts and feeling in the words to a point where they either fall in love or become defensive, accepting the concepts and therein the person who they do not really know or rejecting them before ever knowing them.

This is an attempt to reach beyond that superficial and over-personalized communication, an attempt to find your mind open, objective, and even eager to understand the concepts, thoughts, feelings, and playfulness in these words without judging the writer, without leaping to any assumptions or conclusions that you know me. For how can anyone truly know another without spending time looking…

Maybe I'm Wrong

Maybe you agree, maybe you don't
Maybe you'll write, maybe you won't
I just keep guessing how you may react
only you can say what is fact

Maybe what I write makes no sense to you
maybe you do not believe it is true
maybe you disagree and just don't say
I can only guess. what's in your head today

Sometimes I think that I make a lot of sense
that I give good advice, but maybe I'm dense
maybe I'm wrong to keep sharing with you
sometimes I wonder why I do

I want you to know me, to want me to care
I want to be someone you respect, maybe revere
I want to be someone you think can be wise
I want to know who I am in your eyes

because you've known me for many years
sharing the same space through laughter and tears
we see the good, bad, and ugly in each other
I call you sister, do you call me brother?

did we waste our time sharing all we shared?
I don't want to believe you never really cared
but your silence leaves me wondering what is true
after all these yea…

When You No Longer Hide

What I mean is....

Someday listen to Harry Chapin's Tangle Up Puppet and you may understand :)

Meanwhile, in the semi-La Cage Aux Folles corner of my mind, I wanted to explain the text that I wrote right after to told me you were going to start to write. The previous email I sent is a great example of what I mean. You may have understood, but I was not referring to writing to anyone or even sharing the words. I share some words with you and the internet because I go beyond what I was referring to in the text. What I meant in the text is that when you want to write and feel like there are no words, shift your focus a little (or a lot) and write to someone else. Not as if you are going to send the words to anyone, but often that shift will start the words flowing again. Writer's block is what makes most people stop writing. There are ways around the block. Get it? :)

A pen and paper. I wrote at least a few millions words with pen and paper. Hundreds of hundred page notebooks fu…