Skip to main content

Hanging on Loose Threads

I'm just guessing, but by my unique perspective, we have about a dozen email threads hanging without closure and so, here's another. This one stats off with that reality (oh, so harsh, I know {eye roll}, lol?) but jumps right into this:

I'm Always Hoping
by me

I'm always hoping, yes always hoping
Even when I'm moping, I'm still hoping.
Even when I was doping, I was still hoping.
It's my way of coping, to just keep hoping.
Like some fish just keep swimming...
I just keep hoping :)

Just keep hoping
Just keep hoping
Just keep hoping
(and fade)

Did I mention I sent out a dozen more roommate messages on the roommate website last night? There's always hope. I know, because I am always hoping. You might have heard about it, it was in all the papers. ;P lol lam :)

Now that I've roped you in with my flair for silly rhyme, I must go back to getting ready for the trip. Imagine how much fun we would have on a 10 hour road trip now (you'd probably need drugs with me driving lol ) :)

Google doesn't have emoji's silly enough and I don't have time to search. :)

I have a dozen things must do before I get to sleep (which must be early) so I can be all set to hop in the car and drive to Nashville and be there by mid-afternoon so I can do what I need to do there before it's time to get a good night sleep tomorrow night so I can be wide awake and at my best for a full day and evening of softball in what might be blazing heat starting at 7:00 AM. Repeat on Sunday. Then drive back Sunday night (maybe a couple of hours sleep, I hope) on caffeine (havn't had any in months... I know, you're traumatized just reading that ;P ) to do an orientation by 1:00 PM Monday.

Must sleep lots tonight.

Alas, I did not get a protective case for phone because I simply ran out of time and that is about eighth on the list of very important things I need to do as soon as possible. Several must be done tonight (clean out car, sort through stuff to pack what I need for the trip {it gets very expensive if I do not take everything I need and I don't have the luxury of just heading out the door and buying whatever I need wherever I am like I used to, alas, Trump did it, I'm sure of it. He'll probably tweet about it in the morning [collective eye roll and lol] and health and safety stuff}, and several other things I really must remember to have a safe trip).

I wonder if you'd be able to hear me on the speaker on the new phone with the fan going? I keep a high-speed fan on most of the time here now since the thermostat is usually set at 84 and the place is not well insulated). You'd love this fan, by the way. been thinking about buying one for you if I see it at Costco again.

I ate real food today. I mean bacon and bread and potato and macaroni salads and all sorts of more. Lunch was probably 2000 calories. First time all week. I was doing so well, but then, I was feeling the fatigue of under 1000 calorie days. Gotta eat calories sometime after all lol. I'll eat mostly normally at least a few meals this weekend and hopefully will not gain back the weight I lost. Gotta find a scale one of these days to prove the weight loss isn't all just in my head too.

Time to stop this crazy thing.

Please take care of you, seriously, and fun-silly too :)

I think that ought to be a word, funsilly.

Nite nite (soon)

love, love, love,
me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Still The Same

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, but it's almost always by choice. Or forgetfulness. I wonder if you understand that. I don't know if anyone ever has. That, in and of itself, is lonely. I learned self-control as a survival skill before I knew how to define or describe what I was doing. Instinct saved me from so much, and eventually, I learned that everything I thought or felt was a choice. My choice. It isolated me so much from others, It still does. I did everything I could to try to forget this. I did everything I could to try to forget who I am, what I can do, and how it feels to be me. It didn't work. I did it for love. You are sometimes uncomfortable around me and I'm not sure if you know why. It is because I can feel everything and you can feel that and it scares you. It is your hypersensitivity. You don't know how to be comfortable with all you feel, especially because there are so many sad and painful feelings in this world and I feel ev...
Post a Comment
Read more

all I want

I check my email, nothing meaningful is there I check my phone, no one really seems to care I check myself, sometimes I'm not even here and still I do everything I can just to share because all I want to do in life is share. I ask for too much, it drives people away sharing everything is not popular today I just want someone who is not afraid to play without hiding or asking me to pay I just want someone real who really wants to stay I try to understand why people are afraid to share so afraid to trust, to love, to let themselves be here I understand how people can use and abuse me when I care but I don't understand over empowering fear to me that is just wasting the little time we have here all I want to do in life is share This isn't just to you, E, this is me trying to express myself and understand who I am, what I want, and what is missing from my otherwise happy life. The superficial challenges and comforts and cleanliness and healthiness matter, but ...
Post a Comment
Read more

To You, To Me, For You

Never give up on love, never give in to fear, always remember your passion for that is what makes you care and that is what you should share for that is why you are here So I'll just keep trying to encourage you to share this way and any other way I can think of, cuz I adopted you and this is what family does, reminds you to be yourself, define yourself, grow yourself, express yourself... Maybe I ask too much of you, but I believe you've got it in your to continue growing your confidence and ability to know and express yourself. I believe you could write a book one day and it would be full of the kind of insight and love that this world needs. Even more important, I believe you need to get it out, to ride through the catharsis that self-expression can be - into a new awareness of just how precious and few people like you are. I'll just keep trying to convince you and hope you believe me... There's always hope (I hope)... there's always hope because I h...
Post a Comment
Read more