Skip to main content

Buy Me A Phone?

Really? Are you saving? Credit all paid off? It is challenging to say yes.

It is probably stupid to say no because both of us would benefit way beyond financially. It could relieve a lot of the unspoken discomfort between us that I so want to not be there. The moments we never discussed or resolved that linger and bite us on the ass sometimes when we least expect it or at the very least, push me away and stretch out the silences.

Understand?

I am torn between iphone and android. I have all these iphone cables. Other cables are buried in storage and I don't have time to go there to search. On the other hand, everything I am reading says Android is better. I'm not ready to make to make a decision.

I need Natasha to get a job.

I need time.

I need to lose weight.

I need sleep.

I will think about it.

There are no words to say thank you enough.

I've been picking myself up my entire life, from birth, all by myself.

It is what I am used to.

I'm just tired of it.

I'm tied of alone.

I'm tired of living like a refugee.

I'm tired of feeling bloated.

I want chocolate.

Thank you for writing to me.

I have to get up early for more medical tests tomorrow.

Wish I could sleep more.

We won yesterday, 11-1... We are 6-1 two games in first with 3 to go. Might have my first T-Shirt since 2016. Dallas tourney didn't give T-Shirts, cheapskates.

Will lose big tomorrow, twice, screwed by the organizers of the league, A team dropped out so they grabbed anyone last minute and gave me to them as a pitcher. A mostly middle D team playing C-B teams. it happens. Still gets me out playing, must play to live.

Always hungry.

Always bloated.

You surprised me.

Thinking.

I still want to know about you.

Hug.
hl,
ric

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Still The Same

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, but it's almost always by choice. Or forgetfulness. I wonder if you understand that. I don't know if anyone ever has. That, in and of itself, is lonely. I learned self-control as a survival skill before I knew how to define or describe what I was doing. Instinct saved me from so much, and eventually, I learned that everything I thought or felt was a choice. My choice. It isolated me so much from others, It still does. I did everything I could to try to forget this. I did everything I could to try to forget who I am, what I can do, and how it feels to be me. It didn't work. I did it for love. You are sometimes uncomfortable around me and I'm not sure if you know why. It is because I can feel everything and you can feel that and it scares you. It is your hypersensitivity. You don't know how to be comfortable with all you feel, especially because there are so many sad and painful feelings in this world and I feel ev...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Writer On Beauty and Happiness

I once wanted to see myself as a writer, as a person gifted with a skill to put words together to say profound and wondrous things, to amaze readers with thoughts and emotions that would open their minds and free them from the shackles of fears that oppress us from without and from outside in this culture. What I have found in sharing personal letters is that most people personalize the thoughts and feeling in the words to a point where they either fall in love or become defensive, accepting the concepts and therein the person who they do not really know or rejecting them before ever knowing them. This is an attempt to reach beyond that superficial and over-personalized communication, an attempt to find your mind open, objective, and even eager to understand the concepts, thoughts, feelings, and playfulness in these words without judging the writer, without leaping to any assumptions or conclusions that you know me. For how can anyone truly know another without spending time lookin...
2 comments
Read more

all I want

I check my email, nothing meaningful is there I check my phone, no one really seems to care I check myself, sometimes I'm not even here and still I do everything I can just to share because all I want to do in life is share. I ask for too much, it drives people away sharing everything is not popular today I just want someone who is not afraid to play without hiding or asking me to pay I just want someone real who really wants to stay I try to understand why people are afraid to share so afraid to trust, to love, to let themselves be here I understand how people can use and abuse me when I care but I don't understand over empowering fear to me that is just wasting the little time we have here all I want to do in life is share This isn't just to you, E, this is me trying to express myself and understand who I am, what I want, and what is missing from my otherwise happy life. The superficial challenges and comforts and cleanliness and healthiness matter, but ...
Post a Comment
Read more