Skip to main content

Should Have Known

Better? lol... ah, irony, coincidence, a universe connecting dots, a trick of the calendar, you might even say the hand of god...

You have yours, I have mine, first love, the dream that there would be no other than the perfect complete unconditional fall... on this level we understand each other. There are some songs that are core songs for me, this is the one that helps me hold on and let go and continue believing in love.

It is actually from a movie...


And when it gets real (they were married 30 years ago)...



and the last chord was left unfinished...

I don't know if it's maturity or simply acceptance of a reality in which time does pass by and there really is no going back to where we left off no matter how much we want to, or think we want to.

All that said and I ask myself what I would do if she wanted to come back into my life today and my answer remains, I do not know any more than I'd welcome her back and take it one moment at a time.

For you, not being alone, there is a much larger decision.

I look at the date.

I laugh.

I smile.

I cry.

And I smile again. :)

I hope you can too. :)

hl,
me

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Still The Same

Every now and then I get a little bit lonely, but it's almost always by choice. Or forgetfulness. I wonder if you understand that. I don't know if anyone ever has. That, in and of itself, is lonely. I learned self-control as a survival skill before I knew how to define or describe what I was doing. Instinct saved me from so much, and eventually, I learned that everything I thought or felt was a choice. My choice. It isolated me so much from others, It still does. I did everything I could to try to forget this. I did everything I could to try to forget who I am, what I can do, and how it feels to be me. It didn't work. I did it for love. You are sometimes uncomfortable around me and I'm not sure if you know why. It is because I can feel everything and you can feel that and it scares you. It is your hypersensitivity. You don't know how to be comfortable with all you feel, especially because there are so many sad and painful feelings in this world and I feel ev...
Post a Comment
Read more

Time Goes By So...

Slowly? Only when you pay attention. Otherwise, time goes by way too fast. Two songs in there, at least, if you're paying attention. Anyway, this next set of letters can be called Sent and Not Sent, or Sent and Unsent, as the brief one was sent and the longer one (cut short still), was not sent. There are reasons that may or may not become clear in the reading, and if you understand, wonderful. If you let me know, amazing. If you never know, no worries, enjoy your life anyway. Sent I used to write so much and for years I exchanged emails with many people. Before email, snail mail. Pen pals, friends... I felt connected, cared for, alive in other people's hearts and minds and it felt very good. It's all gone now and that sometimes makes me feel very sad, alone, nobody. Make the most of your relationships. Take care of the connections. You, more than me, even, thrive on the people who know and care about you. It takes time, work, and sacrifice. To stay connected. To stay...
Post a Comment
Read more

all I want

I check my email, nothing meaningful is there I check my phone, no one really seems to care I check myself, sometimes I'm not even here and still I do everything I can just to share because all I want to do in life is share. I ask for too much, it drives people away sharing everything is not popular today I just want someone who is not afraid to play without hiding or asking me to pay I just want someone real who really wants to stay I try to understand why people are afraid to share so afraid to trust, to love, to let themselves be here I understand how people can use and abuse me when I care but I don't understand over empowering fear to me that is just wasting the little time we have here all I want to do in life is share This isn't just to you, E, this is me trying to express myself and understand who I am, what I want, and what is missing from my otherwise happy life. The superficial challenges and comforts and cleanliness and healthiness matter, but ...
Post a Comment
Read more