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So I Keep Asking

so you read me?
yes, it is still a question
cuz you never mention
any of the words I write

I see your smilies
and emoji appreciation
I feel gratification
but still wonder if I'm right

so I keep asking
even though I know that spoils the mood
asking diminishes any answer
forcing an answer may even be rude

but I keep asking
cuz when thoughts are just inside my head
how can I know they are real
when the words are never said

no one looks into my eyes
and tells me who I am
what I am worth to anyone
is all in my mind

no one looks into my eyes
and really gives a damn
like I mean something more than fun
that would be kind

so I keep asking
asking for proof I am alive
asking fr honesty
when they look me in the eyes

so I keep asking
just a little proof of my worth
something that started at birth
won't someone realize

my insecurity runs so deep
it keeps me awake when I sleep
dreams no one ever knows
I wonder if it shows

no one looks into my eyes
and tells me who I am
what I am worth to anyone
is all in my mind

no one looks into my eyes
and really gives a damn
like I mean something more than fun
that would be kind

so I keep asking...

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