Letters To E (and Me)

What are we up to, a dozen? Probably a few dozen if we go back ten years to when we first because roommies and best friends. Anyway, I will keep keeping in touch with the parts of you that you hide away cuz somebody's gotta do it (and besides, I loves ya and want what is best for you, but you oughta know that by now. :) Are you writing? I know you tell yourself you should journal whenever your deeper stuff comes closer to the surface and the anxiety threatens your happiness, but then you forget and hope the deeper stuff never surfaces again once it settles down. But it always does. Until you trust yourself enough to trust Brandi to be your closest confident who hears everything without restriction, you really ought to write. So this is a reminder. The words might bite, but they don't leave marks. Not writing does. (leave marks) Oooo, heavy huh? Yeah, besides the most serious obvious scars, not writing allows hiding, repression, suppression, and all the thinking ...

I just want someone who cares about me to know that my leg is so hurting a lot, so much that I don’t know if I’ll sleep tonight, but we won the game and the ball that may have broken my leg bounced straight to the first baseman and ended up ending the firs inning with bases loaded and they didn't score which is good so I’m laughing, even though I can’t find a comfortable position and have no ice but just wanted somebody who cares to I know. I think I’m going to survive. Maybe even sleep a little later. Just wanted you to know. I hate stressing you out. But I just wanted someone who cares about me to know so I don't feel so alone. So thank you, love you, night night.

I am thinking about buying a house. I looked online. There are manufactured homes I can afford without a roommate (just hope for no hurricane and have insurance and enough saved to be in another place for a few months lol). I also looked at some older homes I can afford on my own. In my price range, they are kind of beat up and really a crap shoot cuz they could have all sort of issues. I'm going to talk to some people in the building department about how to get inspections done as economically as possible and maybe they'll give me some tips and maybe I'll get super lucky and one will help me out. I just wanted you to know. :) A little scary, especially going by myself, but I'm tired of searching for a roommate and tired of paying Shane's entire mortgage and if I'm going to live in the slums I might as well pay my own mortgage. I'm not sure I want to go as far north as Orange City but there are some manufactured homes up there that are bigger ad nicer ...